Shadow Boxer
by Tenshisonnet
Summary: Tasuki and Kouji have been adopted brothers forever, but one thing come between them. Will Tasuki die because of it? Can Chichiri save him? TAsuki x Chichiri, Kouji + Tasuki
1. The Bad News

**Shadow Boxer**

Pairing: Tasuki x Kouji, Chichiri x Tasuki

Completed: Not

Author's note: I'm not a Japanese woman, so I don't own FY either. I named this fic after a Fiona Apple song off of her "Tidal" album.

In a small village at the end of a Pennsylvania sling, Kouji grew up with a simple man in a large house in a cluttered forest. The man wasnt his father, but a kind man who took care of him since he found him as an infant outside of New York. He was in a bundle of cloth on the doorstep of his old apartment. He grew too old for fast-paced city life and moved to the country to raise the infant. While Kouji was still a young child, the old man adopted a fiery haired boy Koujis age. As soon as the youth entered the house, Kouji protected him with his life. The old man didnt prompt him at all, but let him love him like a brother. Whenever the fiery one would mess up, Kouji would cover for him. Sooner or later, the brothers became inseparable.

As time went on, the brothers grew so close they shared thoughts. One would find something out and the other one would know it. The old man told them they were twins. After going to school for some time, they discovered the opposite, but still loved each other none the less.

In high school they shared girlfriend and boyfriends. The community had become accustomed to the twins behavior, but frowned upon their homosexual tendencies. After they could find no more boys to date, the twins turned to each other. Everything felt right even though they thought they were related. The old man overlooked these things as they hid their activities very well.

Then, during their senior year, the old man passed away. They waited by his side for three days while he was dying. On the last day, he divulged that both of the boys were adopted. Neither of them was surprised, but humored the dying man.

Winter of that year, the brothers decided on what to do the following year. Kouji knew he wouldnt fit in at a big college right away, so he broke it to his brother hed be moving to New York for a year after summer vacation. Kouji also knew his brother was meant for a university right away. Feeling rather disheartened, the brothers decided to spend every moment they could with each other until their departure. Both of them knew how little theyd see each other after the migration. They agreed that every summer after would be spent in the cabin they grew up in.

One day that spring, Koujis brother ran into the house screaming and hollering with a glowing white piece of paper in his grasp. Kouji was tackled onto the ground with kisses and violent cuddles. What is it? What are you so fucking excited about?

I got into NYU! I can go to New York with you! he spat.

Kouji had no idea he applied for NYU. Oh, god, Tasuki! That means we can be together in New York! He hugged him tightly. You planned this all along didnt you?

Yup.

Tasuki, I love you!

They kept in contact all through the first month of New York. Tasuki adjusted to college life as Kouji settled into his apartment. They were close enough were they could train across the city to see each other. Almost every weekend, they saw each other and spoke of their weeks. Nothing really changed aside from location. Kouji settled into the New York punk scene. Tasuki became a little more studious and a little less sexually active. Tasuki had been seeing Kouji exclusively while Kouji had two other punk lovers. Neither of them was exclusive either. Tasuki was unaware of this until Kouji trudged into his dorm late one Friday night with a sheet of blue paper. Tasuki read the title from afar: Test Results. His blood froze. Why did Kouji get test runs on him? he thought. Whats wrong, Kou-chan?

Kouji ran and planted his head in Tasukis lap and sobbed. Tasuki, Im so sorry. So sorry. I didnt know about it. I thought they were clean, honest.

What the hell are you talking about Kou-chan? Who was clean? He lifted the sheet from his grasp. Kouji had gotten tested for STDs. Oh my god, Kouji, you . . .

Ive got HIV. There are cures for it being researched, but theres none yet. Youve got to go get tested, Tasuki!

Tasuki lifted Kouji into his lap and hugged him tightly. Itll be okay Kou-chan. Even if I have it, youre the only one Ive slept with since Ive gotten here. No one else has got it.

I dont care about that! Tasuki, Ill die if you have it too! I couldnt stand myself if Ive given this to you! Please, forgive me Tasuki! If only Idve been faithful to you, none of this would have happened. This is all my fault.

Kouji, I dont know if I have it or not. Dont fret over it until we know. Tasuki digested the situation more. How many others have you fucked Kouji?

Only two others. And I havent fucked them in weeks, I swear. Ill tell them tomorrow about it. Im so sorry, Tasuki.

Itll be okay, Kou-chan. Tasuki held him until he left the next morning.

A week later, Kouji found out the others hed slept with were clean. Tasuki was still waiting for his results to get back when he sat in a secluded swamp near the edge of Central Park. The overwhelming greens reminded him of his hometown. He wanted to go back there and let the problems stay in the outside world. A tall willow tree across the swamp looked like the one Kouji and him used to make love under back in Pennsylvania. It had branches that hung all the way down to the ground almost curtaining the grass surrounding the base. He walked across the swamp near the tree. The closer he got, the warmer his body became at what he thought was the memories of their sex. Yellow had turned the ends of the thin branches and began to crawl up. He sat at the base and began to recall how many signs Kouji had subconsciously given him he wasnt faithful. God, how could I have been so blind? he thought.

At that moment, a body landed on its feet in front of him from a high part of the tree. Shocked within an inch of his wits, Tasuki clung to the base of the tree. What the hell!

The figure lifted its head to reveal a man of college age with a scared eye. Then the figure began to roll down the incline heading directly into the swamp. Tasuki let his muscles take over as he scrambled to catch the mans hand. The adrenaline pumped instantaneously into his veins allowing him to catch the mans forearm preventing him from falling in any further. His fingernails dug into the mans arm as he drug him back onto solid land. With the other man clutched tightly in his arms, they both panted heavily staring in the direction of the swamp. Noticing their position, they parted quickly and sat beside each other at the foot of the tree. Tasuki spoke up first. What were you doing all the way up in the tree?

The other student smirked impishly at him. My hat got caught in the wind and flew up there no da, he replied. I fell out of the tree after I knocked it down no da.

No da? he inquired.

Thats the way I speak no da. If you got a problem with that Ill throw you in the swamp no da! he held a fist before Tasukis face.

Tasuki rose his hands in front of his face defensively and responded, I dont. Oh, Im Genrou Kou. You can call me Tasuki.

Houjun Li. You can call me Chichiri.

You sure have a strange way of meeting people, Chichiri.

You too. Why were you sitting under my tree anyway?

I was just thinking, he responded blandly.

I see, he could tell he was hiding something, but chose to ignore it for the meanwhile. Help me find my hat Tasuki.

Please?

Please.

Half an hour later, Tasuki and Chichiri ended up in one of the infinite Starbucks in Manhattan. The sun bounced loosely off of Chichiris pale skin as he rambled on about his Medical degree. Tasuki slung his arm around the back of his mahogany chair lazily. Chichiri seems like a nice guy, a little eccentric though. All those no das. Well, they dont sound so foreign. And that blue hair. It looks great on him, but it looks so natural, he thought.

 . . . So I really dont like the idea of touching brains, Chichiri finished.

Well, you are in med. school. Can I ask you a question? he leaned forward to touch his dangling blue bangs.

Chichiri almost leaned away, but then sat still. Yeah.

Is that your natural hair color? his tone was a bit lower than normal. The silky blue strands slid out from between his fingers easily.

Chichiri thought of a few naughty ways to answer the question, but answered the question in a less vulgar way. Yes. He stared into Tasukis unwavering gaze for an unnecessarily long time. I dont know where it comes from though no da, he laughed.

Tasuki deterred his gaze into his paper coffee cup. His chest felt heavy at the thought of leaving the man before him, but he had to back to the school to check his test results. Damn it, Kouji! he cursed at himself.

Theres that look again, no da, Chichiri looked at his friends face. That forlorn expression pulled at his heartstrings. All he had the guts to do was play with his hat. He desperately yearned to hold him, like in a phantom memory.

Tasuki tossed his head up at an awkward angle. All of his energy was put to covering up his concern. What look?

Youre a horrible liar no da, Chichiri grabbed Tasukis chin making his lips pout out in an exaggerated fashion. He chuckled impishly for a couple beats.

Tasukis wet lips spat while trying to flee from Chichiris grasp, Stop it, Chichiri! That hurts.

His grasp released and he apologized. But seriously, Tasuki, whats up no da?

Its nothing, he replied.

Come on, Tasuki, he grabbed his hand gently. Tasuki looked up at him surprised by the soft embrace. Neither of them pulled away, but Tasuki felt even worse about his addiction to the touch.

Can we go somewhere else to talk about it? Tasuki pulled away to take out his wallet to pay. I dont feel comfortable talking about it here.

Chichiri stood up and put his hat on. Sure no da.

After paying, they walked down the crowded late afternoon sidewalk silently until they were a few blocks away from the college. Where are you from Chichiri?

He piped up in the middle of a thought, Uh, Jersey. You no da?

Im from Pennsylvania, actually, thats a lie. I was adopted. Im originally from New York. Nevertheless, Im from Pennsylvania. My brother and I lived with our adoptive father in a small town an hour outside of Pittsburgh. Our father died last year around this time. Ever since then its been my brother and I. I even moved to the same state as him so we could be together. A while ago I found out he had HIV.

Chichiri fought to keep all the information in. Oh, god. No wonder he didnt want to talk about it, he thought. Im sorry, Tasuki no da. Is he okay no da?

As far as I know hes as healthy as I am. He just made some bad decisions.

Is there anything I can do? Chichiri asked.

Tasuki stepped onto his campus. I dont think so. All he needs is to be healthy.

Chichiri grabbed Tasukis arm, I didnt mean for him, Tasuki.

His shocked expression melted into a hard blush. Oh, Chichiri . . . he thought. He looked away from Chichiris searching eyes. Only what youre doing now. He tugged Chichiris arm and led him into the large campus.

Chichiri digested his response with a smile. Tasuki looks so cute with a blush on his face! He thought. NYU huh? He said inquisitively.

Yeah. Its a cool campus, lots of people. I gotta check my mail, he headed toward the wall of small metal boxes. His breath quickened with the heart beating like a jackhammer in his unsteady chest. Vaguely he thought the box would bite his shaky hand clean off leaving him to tend to a bloody stump. He lifted his key to the box with the attention of prey. Chichiri watched him like a hawk, waiting for him to fall so he could catch him. Something else was horribly wrong with Tasuki. Chichiri decided to wait until he came to him to help him. Tasuki was fighting something Chichiri felt he had no place in. Still, hed wait.

Tasuki opened the threatening box to see a long manila envelope. He picked it out with a whole hand and shut the door. Then he looked at the face. This isnt from the lab, he scowled.

Lab no da? Chichiri asked.

Tasuki pouted for a moment at the idea that hed have to wait another day. God! When will the fucking waiting end! I cant stand this! Am I going to die or not! Damn you Kouji! he yelled inside his head. Its my brothers lab results, theyre not in yet, he answered with a frown.

Im sorry, he said. Hey Tasuki. You look tired no da. Let me walk you to your dorm no da.

Tasuki smirked, Thanks, Chichiri.

They walked to the southern most hall of the campus to the fourth floor. Tasuki opened the door to his single dorm room. Chichiri shut the door behind him and took off his hat with a guilty look. There were piles of papers and books everywhere. He studies a lot. Too little time to clean, he thought with a smile. It melted slowly into a cherry-cheeked gaze as his eyes shifted toward Tasukis reclined form lazing on the bed. It almost beckoned him. Chichiri felt the heat on his cheeks sprawl toward his ears. Tasuki gazed at him with a mixed expression. Part of Tasuki wanted Chichiri so badly; the other was disgusted with his most likely sick self. No part of him wanted to hurt Chichiri. Chichiri stalked to sit by Tasukis beckoning half. You want me too, dont you, Chichiri? he thought looking at the blue haired youth staring at the barren floor.

Is there anything I can do? Chichiri asked nervously. Everything wanted to jump onto Tasukis inviting body. Chichiri held it back with a bitten lip.

Tasuki couldnt keep his eyes off of his delicate body. This magnetic connection couldnt be ignored. I dont want to hurt you, Chichiri! I cant hurt you! I have to get him away from me, he reasoned. I need to be alone, he whispered.

His heart swelled painfully in his chest. Hes telling me to go away, he thought. I see. Can I see you again? he asked facing the other man pleadingly.

Tasuki gathered a piece of paper and a pen. He scribbled a few digits down and a few words then folded it. Heres my number. Call me tomorrow if you get the chance.

Chichiri took the note joyously. I will. Afterward, he put his hat back on and headed toward the door solemnly. I hope your brother does well, Tasuki no da.

Tasuki nodded and watched the open character out of his room. Every fiber of Tasuki wanted Chichiri to run back in and swear his love to him, but he knew he was disillusioning himself. Chichiri probably hates guys like me, but he sure wanted to stick around, his mind wandered.

Chichiri took down his room number outside of Tasukis room. Walking away, a purple-haired guy walked in the opposite direction. Taking note of the blue-haired youth, he headed toward a nearby room and opened the door. Tasuki! he belled.

Tasuki sat on his disorderly bed thinking about his brother and Chichiri. Listlessly, he played into habit, saying his scripted lines. Yes, Nuri?

I saw a delicious boy outside, kinda funky though. Anyhoo, lets go clubbing tonight! I got a sexy pair of leather pants to try out. Come on, Ta-chan.

No, Nuri, Ive got work to do. And for the last time stop calling me Ta-chan damn it!

He pouted.

Tasuki fought.

In the end, Tasuki gave in. A little time away from my problems would do me good, he thought.

Part 2


	2. The Wait

**Shadow Boxer**

Pairing: Tasuki x Kouji, Chichiri x Tasuki

Part: 3/3

Completed: March 2002

Author's note: I'm not a Japanese woman, so I don't own FY either. I named this fic after a Fiona Apple song off of her "Tidal" album.

The "Box" was a few blocks away in a nicer part of New York. Nuriko had dragged the quite unwilling Tasuki there a few times. In the end, Tasuki found comfort in Nuriko's nagging. At least someone fussed over him. He was sort of like an older sister. "Hey, Nuri."

"Yes?" he purred as he hung off of his shoulder.

"I'm just gonna hang around the top floor this round. I'm not in the mood to flirt," he informed him.

As they got closer to the crowded dance floor, Nuriko swung Tasuki around and demanded, "Not before you dance with me!"

Figuring as much, Tasuki danced aggressively with Nuriko in the middle of the dance floor. Grinding roughly, just how both of them liked it, they never switched partners. For the duration of that DJ's hyped-up spinning, Nuriko did his best to try and seduce Tasuki into more than dancing. His hips ground so far into Tasuki, he began to feel sore, which only fueled the sensation. Nuriko never liked Tasuki as more than a friend, but they had almost become closer than they should have been when neither of them had gotten laid in a while. Tasuki persistently pushed the forward youth away. The last straw was when Nuriko pulled Tasuki into a playful kiss. Disgusted by his actions and his lack of prevention, Tasuki sneered, "I'm getting more water."

He shoved people out of his way until he got to the bar. He motioned for bottled water and turned to watch the obese mass of hormones in the center of the club. Letting his eyes wonder far too deeply into the workings of the crowd, he spotted a couple of girls' way past grinding. He scoffed at the display at first seeing as they were merely doing it for the pleasure of the male spectators. "Are those the type of people Kouji slept with? Were they just clubbers? Punks from the concerts? Maybe, he's far more extravagant about people he sleeps with than I am. I generally pick the "boys next door" types don't I? Chichiri . . ." he thought with a pulling of the heartstring. "Maybe I should have been nicer. Hopefully he'll call tomorrow."

"Hey," winked another guy as the growing crowd pushed him into the latter of Tasuki's body. 

Tasuki blinked back at the Japanese boy in front of him, rather on top of him.

"Sorry about that," his confidence shrunk a little as he pushed to sit beside Tasuki instead of on him. He fidgeted with the ring on his right hand. He ordered at water with a familiar flick of the wrist and waited facing the bartender.

His features were very Japanese Tasuki noted. His eyes were expectedly long slitted, his hair was his native color with a little gel, and his clothes were modern Japanese, much like American neo-punk. Smirking at his lengthy companion, he took a swig of his water and pretended not to be looking out of the corner of his eye at him.

The Japanese boy returned to his upright position facing the crowd neglecting to hide his occasional looks at the red headed boy beside him. "So where are you from?" he asked over the music.

"Pennsylvania."

"I'm from . . ." he answered.

"Japan," Tasuki interrupted. "You look like it."

The other boy smirked and took another swig of water. "Interesting," he thought. "What's your name?"

"Genrou. You?" he inquired half-heartedly.

"Yuuhi," he returned. After finishing his water, he watched Genrou finish his nonchalantly. Then, he abruptly took Genrou by the wrist and led him into the crowd of pheromones. Genrou didn't look too surprised. Yuuhi didn't dance closely at first teasing Genrou into dancing with him. Surprisingly, Genrou was a natural at letting go on the dance floor. Taking Genrou's lead at being much rougher, they became much closer than expected. Yuuhi did everything he could to not start grinding into the other boy, as he wanted to. He hardly knew him. Instead, he went with the flow of Genrou's body. "I certainly picked the right guy to dance with. He's so natural with me, and we just started dancing. He was certainly cold with me at first, for being so hot anyway," he thought loudly.

Orange eyes bore hooks into brown ones. Yuuhi couldn't look away from that luring heat. "You're a good dancer," Genrou finally said.

An eyebrow raised. "You haven't seen the half of it," he laughed.

"Show me then," he challenged moving in closer.

"Did he get my innuendo or not?" Yuuhi asked himself. Instead of wondering at Genrou's of further advances, he pulled into a tight caress. "I can't show you here," he purred into Genrou's ear then licked it.

He nodded. "Why is he teasing me so much. I. I like Chichiri. I can't deny that I want him, too. It's not like Chichiri and I am anything but friends. I could . . . I will," he thought. "Your place?"

Within fifteen minutes, the train and their feet lead them to an apartment several minutes from NYC. In the second floor apartment, Yuuhi threw his jacket off onto the couch and led Genrou through the apartment. "This is the kitchen where we'll drink coffee in the mourning and stare lovingly into each other's eyes. This is the living room where we'll watch cartoons in the morning through tired eyes. This is the bathroom where we'll wash each other clean later," finally they entered the large simple bedroom. "And here's where we get buck naked and fuck each other's brains out." He closed the door behind Genrou pushing him closer to the dim bed.

"Sounds fun," Genrou answered. He pulled his shirt slowly over his head to drop it on the floor.

Yuuhi was drawn to him like a moth to a zapper. The hot magnetism between them pulled them together like in the loop of a tightening rope. Their breath grew hotter and hotter as they drew together for the first kiss. Yuuhi loved this moment about as much as climax. Before any other stimulation, they were clean of each other. They were almost perfect strangers to the world and each other. Every breath was foreign yet familiar, every patch of skin was untouched by lips. Everything was new. Genrou waited silently with Yuuhi in his comforting arms slipping his button down shirt slowly off of his shoulders. In the dark room the pair paid tribute to silence they would soon murder with their ardor.

"Genrou," he lifter his head to stare into Genrou's catching gaze.

"Hn?" he asked.

"I don't want to ruin anything, but this is the first time . . ."

"Oh Suzaku," Genrou thought.

" . . . that I've done it with someone I hardly know."

"Phew," Genrou sighed inwardly.

"Is there anything I should know about you?" he was almost sounded scared.

"What do you mean?" they sat at the edge of the bed still holding.

"Well, recently I've had a scare with one of my ex-lovers. I'd just like to know if there's something special about you I need to know before we . . ."

"Shhh," Genrou put his finger to his lips. "We won't go all the way if you'd like. We can finish it another time."

"Another time? You mean, you'd want to see me again?" his spirits lifted.

"If tonight goes well and if you'd let me," he answered.

Yuuhi immediately pounced on him with showers of first kisses. "Of course I'd let you come back! I must warn you, I'm not quiet."

Genrou kissed him back, "Good." He pulled him into another barrage of attention. "Tonight won't be any different."

As promised, the two awoke to Saturday morning cartoons and coffee in the kitchen. Constantly holding and flirtatiously touching, the two hadn't gone all the way as planned. Tasuki knew it wouldn't be smart to fuck a guy right now, especially since he might give him HIV. The other boy snuggled into his neck like a previously abandoned kitten asking for affection. The fiery one pet his skin like a large cat paying limited attention to the tunes. Then he looked at his clock. "Ah, shit. Yuuhi, I gotta get goin'."

Yuuhi climbed fully on top of him to stop him like a child. "Come on, Ta-chan," he purred. "What's more important than snuggling with me?"

He smiled and pet the pouty boy's head. "I've got shit to take care of. My brother's comin' into town."

He sighed and climbed off of him. "Okay, fine. But I'll see you later right?"

Tasuki pulled his jacket on. "As soon as my brother leaves."

"Promise?" he insisted.

"I promise," he smiled and walked out the door.

His dorm stood still like the air had been sucked out of it, but something had moved while he was gone. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. Way off. After a thorough investigation, he found nothing, so he retired to the shower before crawling to his fate blocks away in his mailbox.

He tucked his towel over the curtain rail and let the water calm into a warmer state. The feeling of water against his skin, cleansing him, reminded him of Chichiri's face right after he saved him. So open, exquisitely intriguing. All he wanted to do is submerge himself in that form, take in his essence. "Chichiri. . ." he caught himself whispering to himself. The last syllable triggered his guilt. The virus he might carry made his guilt triple, as if the infection might reach him only by thought of him. Taking all the hot water in the dorm, he finished his shower in scolding water, burning away the venom that flowed through his veins. All the steam plagued his eyes, ripping salty tears from his heart. Hoping the water would rinse away the tears as well, he faced the fiery steam only to feel the moment replay on the walls of his brain. 'I'll die if you have it, too! . . Please forgive me, Tasuki!' The look in Kouji's eyes at that moment pled to the only thing he cared about. 'I know he didn't want this to happen, but. . . Kouji you bastard!!!' His fists hit the blue tile walls of the stall over and over again. 'Why'd you have to hurt yourself like that?! Why'd you have to hurt me?! Suzaku, am I going to die? Is he gonna die? God, he's sent me to hell!' he shouted to himself as he remembered all the videos in Sex Ed. he'd seen of sickly fags puking their vile stench all over in their final years all alone. Kouji's ghost was past the wall, his shadow on the wall. He was always just out of reach. "You fuckin' cocksucker," he cried. Finally noticing all the blood seeping out of his knuckles, he shut off the water and wrapped himself up. The sting of a split heart seeped out of his hands and onto the towel he held around his waist. A few guys averted their eyes from the sight as he made his way back to his dorm room. He closed the door slowly careful not to spill anymore blood. Sitting on the bed he noticed a piece of paper stick to his hand as he leaned back. He lifted the unfamiliar purple paper and unfolded the corners.

Yo Tasuki, I lost you at the club last night. 'Dja get lucky? Anyhow, Call me when you get in. 

Nuriko

Smiling, he reached for the phone.

Part 3


	3. The Only One

**Shadow Boxer**

Pairing: Tasuki x Kouji, Chichiri x Tasuki

Part: 3/3

Completed: March 2002

Author's note: I'm not a Japanese woman, so I don't own FY either. I named this fic after a Fiona Apple song off of her "Tidal" album.

Pampered well, Tasuki smiled tenderly as Nuriko fluffed his pillow behind him brought him pop, and everything else to make him feel comfortable. Nuriko had always been there like a sibling, like an older sister. Here he was again making Tasuki feel, even after he'd felt so much that day. "Nuriko, sit down. You're making me nervous."

"Okay, okay," he muttered like a small child who'd been chided for the eighth time to sit still. "Now, you have to tell me what this is all about."

Fiery eyes drifted back down to his bandaged hands. "I . . . Kouji . . . Um, I'm not ready to talk about it," he bit his lower lip.

"Come on, Tasuki," he giggled, "I told you when Hoto-chan gave me crabs. And remember the time we got so drunk we pissed all over the RA's door while he was boning some chick? Come on, Ta-chan, you can tell me."

"It's not that simple," he sighed. Then he got an idea. "How about this: I'll tell you what's wrong after I go check my mail?"

Tasuki sat up and put on a shirt as Nuriko protested. "Don't you need help? I can go with you!" he pleaded.

"No, Nu-chan," he smiled. "I can do this myself."

Perplexed, the purple-haired boy stammered, "Nu-chan? You only call me that when something's really wrong. Tasuki tell me what's wrong!"

The smile faded quickly into a scowl. "Nuriko, ease up. I'll tell you when I'm good and ready, damn it."

With that, Tasuki left his dorm and started the long journey to the metal trap that snagged his mind. Each step brought about new concerns. Impossible and definite conclusions bounced off of the ground in front of him. "I know I was safe with Yuuhi, but what if I infected him somehow? What if I have some mutated version of this thing and I gave it to everyone? If only Chichiri were here. He'd probably hate some disgusting guy like me. Suzaku, what if I'm gonna die any moment? If I die right here and now, they'd probably just leave me here and stomp on me like a bug. That's all you are when you are gonna die anyway, right? A nuisance, a bug, something to be dealt with. A will, I need a will. What am I thinking? What do I have to give anyone? A freak like me. Damn it, all I did was love someone! It's love, not jealousy or hatred. I love Kouji, he's my lifetime love. Even if he dies or we never have sex again, I'll always love him. Always," he hid his frustration unaware he was already at his mailbox. Unafraid, he unlocked the box and saw the thing he was looking for. He pulled it out and slammed his mailbox door shut, drawing people's attention. Shrugging at them, he sighed.

Right there, in front of the mailroom and all the people finding cards from their mothers, love letters from overseas, funeral invitations, and boxes of food, Tasuki ripped open the envelope.

Genrou,

Your test samples have been processed and the results are present at the clinic. We request you make an appointment and come in to review your results. Further steps will be provided for you here at the clinic. We look forward to seeing you.

Furious, Tasuki ran all the way back to his room where Nuriko and the newly arrived Kouji sat on the bed with guilt-stricken, worried faces. He slammed the door behind him and leaned against the door breathing heavily.

Nuriko stood up, "Tasuki, are going to tell me what's up now?"

Kouji sat him back down calmly. "Are those the results?" he gestured to the papers in Tasuki's hand.

He nodded and let his brow ruffle before answering. "They don't say anything. I've gotta go in. Call the clinic and make an appointment with them a.s.a.p. okay Kouji?"

"Where's your phone?" he looked around.

"Go do it in the lobby," he opened the door.

Kouji nodded knowingly and gave Nuriko one more glance before closing the door behind him.

Nuriko stood up again and hugged the shaken Tasuki. Firmly holding the boy to him he softly asked, "What's wrong?"

Trembling further he grasped Nuriko like a cat caught in rapids. "Ummmm. . . Kouji and I are lovers and um. . . He got HIV from somewhere and I might have it and the results don't tell me anything and I'm so scared. . . I've gotta go in and they're gonna tell me if I'm gonna die or if I'm gonna live. I . . . Nu-chan, I don't wanna die. . ."

Absorbing all the information, he hushed Tasuki's sobs. "No matter what happens, I'll still love and support you, Tasuki. We don't know the results yet, but what happens, happens for the best."

He took in Nuriko's scent a few times and cleared his face for Kouji's sake. He nodded strongly at his counterpart and waited for his brother to return.

Three hours later, all three of them waited in a small room with too many chairs for the red-head's name to be called. Without noticing it, Tasuki let his leg bounce up and down off of the floor. Trying his best not to look guilty, Kouji stared out the window at the bustling street corner. All the people were around this one small bagel and hot dog stand for lunch an hour later than expected. Nuriko held Kouji's hand and rubbed Tasuki's shoulder with the other. He knew nothing else could be done.

Mid-thought, a nurse's voice bellowed his name through a little window across the room. He stood up and didn't look back as she then added, "go to room 4, please."

Obeying succinctly, Tasuki went through one white door with no window and through another with a rather unlucky number on it. A plump Irish woman sat behind the desk looking over a certain red-head's file with raised eyebrow. Noticing her company, she put the file back on the desk and waved him into a seat. "Haow aar eyou feewing tuday, Kenryo?"

"It's Genrou, and I'm a little stressed." This woman did not renew his faith in the medical profession, even with the numerous framed achievements on the wall behind her. "Is this really what Chichiri wants to do for a living?" he thought.

"Ya, ya, ai con emajin," she giggle a little. "Ai em gwad tu teww eyou dat eyou aar not infeckted."

Genrou sighed with relief, but knew there was a catch.

"Bat! Ai haf a hewj fabor tu ask eyou."

"What's that?" At that moment he would have done anything she wanted him to.

"Za reeson you ver not infeckted vas bekuz eyou aar eemeun," she explained.

"Immune?" he questioned.

"Ya. Saam peepole haf jeenz zat proteckt zem fram dee faairus. Eyou aar van af deez peepole. Deez dass not meen zat eyou vill nefer get eet. Pleeze, mai deeya, doo not haf seks vit an enfekted purson again, ya?"

"Yes, ma'am, but what was this favor?"

"Ya, ya, tsoory ai reambell. Soo eyou kan hailp zee infekted peepole bai partisipaiten en zees program," she handed him a pamphlet.

He took it from her and read the title, "HIV/AIDS Research Program of New York. How can I help out?"

"Jyast koll zat namber zere and dey vill teww eyou vat to do. Doo eyou haf any azah kvestions?"

"No ma'am, than you for your time," he stood up.

"No probleem, mai deeya boiy."

With that Tasuki ran out of the office and smiled at his friends. "I'm okay! They said I'm okay!"

Kouji hugged him tightly and Nuriko joined in a few moments later.

After a small walk to the nearest Starbucks and a Mocha Frappacino later, Tasuki told them the rest of the story. "Yeah, immune. But she told me not to go doing it with anyone infected anyway."

Kouji frowned despite himself. "That's great, Tasuki. I mean, I'll miss you in the sack and everything. I still wonder how I got it. Maybe I was born with it."

Nuriko piped up. "Maybe it'll never develop into AIDS. It doesn't have to you know, as long as you stay healthy. You should probably move out of the city though. Too much shit here."

"He's got a point," Tasuki agreed.

After a sip of lukewarm coffee, Tasuki's cell phone rang. "Hello?"

"Uh, Tasuki, no da?" a sheepish voice crawled across the beams fueling the blush on Tasuki's face. Nuriko noticed, but bit his tongue.

"Yeah, Chichiri? How is it going?" he turned from the pair across the table.

"Uh, good. I just got out of class, no da. You wanna do something no da?" he fumbled with the shoulder strap on his bag.

"Yeah, definitely. Where are you?"

"On the train to Noho no da, you?"

"I'm at Starbucks, you know the one on broadway?"

"I'm a few stops from there, stay there okay no da?" he nearly pleaded.

"I'll be here. See ya soon," his tone melted into a sincere whisper.

"Bye," he purred and hung up.

Tasuki was putting the phone back in his pocket as Nuriko looked at him like a cat who was about to do something bad. "What?" Tasuki asked.

"Like you need to ask," he nudged Kouji who was staring back at Tasuki with a less threatening look. "Who is the Chaichairi?"

"It's Chichiri, and he's not a drink, and he's a med. student. I met yesterday. Hold on," he got went to the counter and ordered something. He came back with it and sat it next to him.

"Okay, it's a Grande Skim Mocha, Triple shot, with peppermint and whipped cream," Nuriko deduced from the other side of the table.

"I still don't know how he does that," Tasuki whispered to Kouji.

"Which means he watches what he eats enough to care that its skim, but cares enough about the taste enough to get peppermint. At the same time he indulges his inner child by having whipped cream. From the size and number of shots he's probably been up most of the night worrying about something," he stopped.

"And?" Tasuki asked.

"What gets me is the Mocha. Is his black?" he rubbed his chin.

Kouji started laughing as Tasuki shook his head. "No, he's not black. How do you . . . ? Oh never mind."  


"Then tell us about him."

Kouji settled down and added, "I want to know who stole my brother from me."

"He's so cute. I met him at the park up north. He was going to fall into the swamp, so I pulled him out of it."

"Oh, I love this story already," Kouji purred.

"Shut up. We came to another Starbucks and had coffee. I had a . . ."

"Grande double shot Latte with cherry," Kouji answered, cutting him off.

"Right, and he had a . . ."

"Grande Skim Mocha, Triple shot, with peppermint and whipped cream," Nuriko answered.

"Anyway, it was all cool. We talked about his college, stuff like that. I think he may be into me. All I know is that I really like him, not in the nightclub sort of way, but in the I want you to meet my brother sort of way."

"After one day, too. Man you work fast, Tasuki," Nuriko said.

"I'm sure you'll tell me tell me all about what you think when you meet him," he said sarcastically.

"I always do," Nuriko answered. "So you missed your classes today, didn't you Ta-chan?"

"I told you not to call me that, and I did miss theology. Not really anything big. Why do you ask?"

"Sorry I took so long no da," Chichiri put his bag down by the seat next to Tasuki. "But the doors stalled at the stop before the last one and I had to wait to catch another train no da."

"It's okay, we were just sittin'. Oh, This is Nuriko, a guy who lives on my dorm. And that's my brother, Kouji."

Nuriko scanned the Grande Skim Mocha, Triple shot, with peppermint and whipped cream standing behind the other end of the table with little surprise at the caliber of Tasuki's catch. "Well aren't you a fine tall glass of water."

"Thanks no da," he shook Nuriko's hand as Kouji inspected his brother's catch. 

Kouji thought out loud, "Is that your real. . ."

"Yes," Tasuki responded in time with his blue-haired counterpart. They looked at each other a moment and started to laugh. Kouji and Nuriko merely looked at each other,

Chichiri sat down and peered into the paper cup before him. He looked at Tasuki, "Is this mine no da?"  


"Yup. Grande Skim Mocha, Triple shot, peppermint, with whipped cream, right?"

"Yeah, thanks. I wasn't expecting you to. . ."  


"It's no problem. How were classes?"

"Da," he sighed. "Disagreeable, no da. I was late to two of my classes and I had to hand in a paper late no da. You no da?"

"Sorry about that man. I got good news today, but I missed a class. Either way, I feel like going dancing tonight. Wanna join me?"

"Clubbing here I come!" Nuriko rejoiced.

Sipping some of his coffee Chichiri tried not to believe it was a date, but was failing miserably well. "Sure no da."

"You coming, Kouji?" Nuriko asked.

"Nah, I feel like staying and tackling the next chapter of War and Peace in a bubble bath," he said sarcastically.

Tasuki leaned over to Chichiri and whispered, "Don't worry, we'll loose 'em after a while."

Chichiri nodded smiling. "I'm not exactly in clubbing clothes so how about I meet you guys in front of the club at eight no da. Which club you guys go to no da?"

"The Box," Nuriko answered.

"Nah, I'm sick of that place. Let's go to the Yellow Rat," Tasuki added.

"I'll be there at eight, see ya, no da," he picked up his bag and coffee. "Nice meeting you two, no da."

With that the blue-headed man walked out, not without three sets of eyes following his ass out.

"What's with the "no da's"?" Kouji asked.  


"Shut up, Kouji."

Happy just to be alive and well, Tasuki smiled as he rode the train with his two comrades. Happy to be seeing Chichiri again, he dressed his best. Maybe a little too happy, he shifted from foot to foot in anticipation.

"Calm down," Nuriko smiled at him.

"Am I hot?" he asked.

"Yeah, hot enough to melt Chaichai's heart now stop bouncing."

"It's Chichiri! I know you think he's a bit weird, but don't be rude."

"If he gets you this excited I'll deal. What about you Kouji, you planning to smack this bitch if I don't?"

He merely nodded and looked out the window at the passing cement and piping.

Once above ground, the pair tried to catch up with the red-head whose pace was increasing the closer they came. He waved his ID at the bouncer and found the object of his affection waiting with a forlorn look on his face, leaning against a wall, staring at the ground before him. He almost looked lost. Doing the only thing he thought appropriate, he grabbed Chichiri quickly and pulling him into the mess of dancers.

Elated to see the other boy, he began dancing closely. "I was worried you'd forgotten no da!" he yelled over the music.

"I'm sorry I'm late! But I'm here now," he pulled Chichiri's back against his stomach.

Dancing like that for a while, the pair shifted into a less feverish swing than the rest of the crowd. After a time, Tasuki unglued himself from Chichiri long enough to drag him to the bar where they sat next to each other. In the middle of ordering, Chichiri pulled on Tasuki's sleeve and pointed at a corner near the entrance, "Isn't that your brother and the guy I met before no da?"

Tasuki inspected further to find Nuriko and Kouji catch up in a rather heated moment. He had suspected it had been going on for a while. He just prayed in his head that they were careful.

"They're cute together no da," Chichiri said. "So feelin' better than you were yesterday no da?"

After taking several gulps, he handed his water to Chichiri. "Yeah, a lot better." He pulled Chichiri into him after the bottle was gone. Blushing, from the heat and the contact, they started to dance again. 

After a couple songs, Chichiri stopped and pushed Tasuki against a wall. Pressing himself against the red-head's receiving body, his blush spread as he slowly dove in for a kiss. Tasuki excepted graciously, letting soft touches follow. The delicate kiss became a deep kiss, then a deep kiss became a deep kiss with hands on hips and arms, then soft grinding. Chichiri then stepped away, leaving a frustrated Tasuki against the wall. Chichiri grabbed a familiar hand and guided Tasuki out of the club.

"Where are we going?" he asked impatiently.

"My place. It's only a few blocks from here no da," he answered contently.

He followed obediently in awe of the man before him. Not a few hours ago, they had been drinking coffee, still wondering about each other. Now, he was getting Chichiri all to himself. "Chichiri?"

"Da?" he unlocked the door to his second story flat.

"I have tell you something before we do anything."

Chichiri locked the door behind Tasuki and turned a light on. The large apartment housed only a few rooms, but the hardwood floor flat had a sense of calm about it. The news would be better for Tasuki to deliver in here. "I'm listening no da," he walked into the open kitchen for a drink.

"Remember how I told you my brother had HIV? And how freaked out I was about getting my mail yesterday?" he followed him to the other side of the counter.  


"Yes no da."

"My brother and I were adopted. We're not really related, but were we lovers for a while. I was really happy earlier today because I found out I'm immune to HIV, so I'm not infected. I don't have anything else either. I wanted to tell you because I care about you. I don't want to hide anything from you."

He took a few tense moments to digest it all. "The brother thing is a little weird no da. But, I'm glad you told me and let me meet your friend and your brother no da. Now I know why you were so upset yesterday no da. Is that why you were sitting under that tree by yourself no da?"

"Yeah. Thanks for understanding," he leaned over the counter separating them and added, "You were really hot tonight."

Chichiri pet his hair and the side of his face carefully. "You, too. You wanna get in the tub no da? We kinda smell from all that dancing."

"Sure, but you'll have to bandage me up afterward. I kinda got mad at a wall yesterday."

Looking at Tasuki's hand, he nodded. "I wasn't going to ask no da. You ever get mad like that again, you call me no da. Don't attack defenseless walls, no da."

"Sure. Now where's that bath?"

The contented pair found not only bubble in the lingering bath, but comfort in each other's bodies; not in any sexual manner, but merely taking joy in being bare and close to someone they cared about. Almost like children, they'd dunk each other's heads under the water and splash, but always end up nestled in each other's arms. Safe and warm.


End file.
